I'm wondering tonight after reading antennapedia's most recent entry if part of my problem with being a writer is the same as my problem being a programmer. That large scale ability to see the whole, the complexities of a project and to know how to fit them all together-- I never had that. I could solve small, kindergarten really, problems and set scripts running, and adapt scripts to somewhat new uses. But the higher level languages and concepts were quite beyond me.
Fanfiction seems a lot more like what I did, adapting of scripts/ preexisting programs to new, very limited situations. Sometimes the small problem solved was kind of neat, but, still, small. I get overwhelmed trying to create bigger structures, or I get a glimpse of the bigger thing, but once I begin to set details in place, the vision of the whole gets hopelessly muddled.
Not giving up, though. Sometimes magic happens in the small things, and when I practiced the writing craft more regularly, I occasionally did those things pretty well.
Maybe I just need to kick myself in the rear and do the practice of the craft every day, and stop making excuses for why I don't. Last week, yeah, I was sick. But I haven't been sick continually for the past couple of years.
I'm starting to set monthly goals. Last month, I accomplished a big one, writing that letter for my son. But some of my goals, like "finish X story" were too vague to be useful.
Maybe if I am more public about said goals I'll be more accountable? And more specific about what constitutes success?
( Here then, are the March goals.Collapse )
Ask me in April how well I did.