hobgoblinn

I was thinking about my LJ friends tonight mostly because I was writing, which is something I do far too little of these days. Did double script pages tonight for Script frenzy, which is to say I'm now up to 10 pages. Then I took a break and read the f-list, checked my yahoo account and saw that ODD was losing its hosting domain. Felt sad that I haven't been to the site in a couple of years, maybe more.

Anyway, fandoms do this, or people change in their reading tastes. We were lucky to have an internet that made possible our entry into fandom even after the glory days of it had passed. I read most of the to me exciting new Buffy stories after the show ceased production and had come out on DVD. Another technology to thank.

I did decide to go with a variant of the Job story for my script, but I decided to focus on a character who knows everything-- what will happen, how all the parts of the universe fit together-- everything but why he's the way he is. Oh, and he likes being around us, so he dwells among us. I haven't worked it all out yet, but I think there's a real difference between the God most people envision-- the one who has a Plan and Makes Things Happen-- and one who just loves and yet gets saddled with a lot of human conceptions of what a God must be like. Like we make God in our own image, ascribe power we maybe think we would like, and none of us is really happier or more enlightened for it. And while we're so busy focusing on power, some of us forget to Love each other and all that, which is really more the point, isn't it?

My character has changed over the ages as he has wandered the earth, and at the moment he seems to be a 16 year old boy who's been accused of murder.

Will have to read the Easter Vigil readings again-- I heard some things that gave me ideas for the story while I was listening and worrying about whether or not I would be able to sing the next Psalm right. But after the very long weekend of singing I was too exhausted to remember anything of use.

I hope you are all well and happy, friends. My eldest turns 20 on the 12th, and Wee Hob will be 17 on the 14th. Where has the time gone?

And I have the music for the opening sequence of my file script: Perpetuum Mobile by the Penguin Cafe Orchestra.

Friday was the Boy Scout Fish Fry. As a veteran of Troop 8's Epic Turkey Dinner fundraiser, I was actually looking forward to a much shorter time of work. Wasn't prepared for how badly organized this event was with the new troop. Part of the problem is that it's a Church function, with different groups manning each night during Lent and taking the proceeds. So they do it "the way we've always done it." Probably works when the nearest competing Church Fish Fry doesn't take the week off. The overflow crowd was a mess.

Anyway, long afternoon. Saturday was much better, as my Beloved and I went for a hike in the local arboretum. It's been neat to go the past few weeks and see the changes. Can't believe we're getting this kind of weather and plant growth in mid March.

Today was a hike in the hilltop cemetery a few blocks away. It contains one of the batteries that were built to defend Cincinnati in the Civil War, along with several graves from the early 1800s. Lots of flowering trees all over.

And tonight after mass, I was listening to Krista Tippet's "On Being" on my way home. Her guest, Kevin Kilng, made a statement about there being two trips "The one we plan, and the one we take," but I heard it differently. With regard to the end of things, the afterlife (which he was also talking about earlier, hence the connection) it occurred to me that for that trip, the trip you plan, is the trip you take. How you live now affects how that ending goes. Or maybe planning your life to appreciate things now affects the quality of your current life/ trip. It seemed very profound when I was thinking it.

I need to download the podcast version and listen to the whole thing. I did that a few weeks ago with the John O'Donohue interview, and it was lovely. If you haven't read his Anam Cara or other stuff, well, some of it sounds like nonsense at times, but it's beautiful nonsense. And some of it is quite sensible as well as poetic. Here's a link to a slideshow featuring O'Donohue reciting a lovely poem written for his mother: http://being.publicradio.org/programs/2012/inner-landscape-of-beauty/ss_beannacht/ss-beannacht.shtml#slideshow

And in a few minutes, Wee Hob should be home from scouts, and we shall see if he earned his next rank. I'll update with that, I guess.

Edit: He made Star Scout. He's been stuck at 1st Class for about 4 years now, so this is cool. Still has only a year to get to Life, then Eagle, so unlikely he will make it before he ages out. Still, many adult leaders encouraged him (or threatened to kick his butt if he didn't try.)

Been a long day. Hung out at the mall a very long time to meet eldest son. He and his girlfriend got lost. They eventually showed up, about 2 hours after they initially said they would, and about 3 after we got there early (because I just do that.)

While wandering about killing time, I got tackle hugged by my youngest. She's now 12. She happily introduced me to her friends as "my real mom." She came back a couple of times for more hugs. She is so tiny and delicate. Reminds me of the little girl I used to see for visits so long ago. She is a beautiful little elf girl, bouncy and full of life.

Her brother informed me when he arrived that she was in fact "pure evil." I'm sure she is a handful, with my sense of mischief and her birth father's stubbornness (ok, mine, too.) She had several friends around, and she bossily sent some of the boys away because she said they weren't being appropriate-- she's a leader of sorts, and popular, and kind of all the things I never was. I am happy for her, though.

My eldest son is also wonderful. Looks just like me, but with a kind of scraggly beard. Wee Hob is a head taller, which floors me. Eldest is not much taller than I am. He mentioned wanting to study psychology and go into therapy practice, as he gravitates now toward giving advice with his friends. He certainly has a background to be great at that, from all his experiences. I hung back more as we wandered after the meal, letting him and his brother and girlfriend interact. It's great to see them able to reconnect after all this time. She also seems a nice girl. Not quite sure what to make of us, of course, but that's to be expected.

I do have to get on writing a "What Happened?" memoir for Eldest, even though as I told him, it's so hard to remember details of what and why. I was actually thinking about this earlier in another context, how much we want to believe memory is like videotape, and how much instead it's filling in blanks and extrapolating just as we have to do to try to narrate the contents of a dream in a way that might make sense.

Still, he's asked for it, and he deserves it. They all do.

That's about all I have for now. I'm trying to come out here and post more. It's writing, and it will fuel more writing, or at least it used to. Hope all is well with all of you.

Oh-- Music note: checked this album out from the library for Wee Hob. I kinda like it.

I'm wondering tonight after reading antennapedia's most recent entry if part of my problem with being a writer is the same as my problem being a programmer. That large scale ability to see the whole, the complexities of a project and to know how to fit them all together-- I never had that. I could solve small, kindergarten really, problems and set scripts running, and adapt scripts to somewhat new uses. But the higher level languages and concepts were quite beyond me.

Fanfiction seems a lot more like what I did, adapting of scripts/ preexisting programs to new, very limited situations. Sometimes the small problem solved was kind of neat, but, still, small. I get overwhelmed trying to create bigger structures, or I get a glimpse of the bigger thing, but once I begin to set details in place, the vision of the whole gets hopelessly muddled.

Not giving up, though. Sometimes magic happens in the small things, and when I practiced the writing craft more regularly, I occasionally did those things pretty well.

Maybe I just need to kick myself in the rear and do the practice of the craft every day, and stop making excuses for why I don't. Last week, yeah, I was sick. But I haven't been sick continually for the past couple of years.

I'm starting to set monthly goals. Last month, I accomplished a big one, writing that letter for my son. But some of my goals, like "finish X story" were too vague to be useful.

Maybe if I am more public about said goals I'll be more accountable? And more specific about what constitutes success?

( Here then, are the March goals. )
Ask me in April how well I did.

Wee Hob might actually pass German. Thanks to all who commented, even with a "I have no idea." He had fun reading the comments and using the info to make this file, which he has titled "Awesomeness."

( Awesomeness )

Yes, this is the sweet child who currently lives in my household, and may someday live in our basement.

In other news, I'm thinking of adapting the Book of Job to a script for Script Frenzy this year. I'd have to write a new story for it kind of, but the why things happen aspect is what I've been struggling with for a good number of years now. I think I can get 100 pages out of it.

Let's post this and see if the cut works. If not, sorry for the pic spam.

I'm waiting up just now to see if my beloved will chat with me before the end of the night. He's in Houston dealing with family decisions about his mom and dad. I wish I could be there for moral support, but I'd be useless otherwise, and I've been sick for over a week now. Not liking this shortness of breath when I haven't done anything and it's just a Cold.

Hope you all are well, and again, thanks from Wee Hob to all.

Friends, The following is a dictated message from Wee Hob. I told him I have some LJ friends who speak German.

***
Oh Dear God. Are you actually going to write that? *Heavy sigh.* I guess you weren't kidding when you said the mike was on. Okay here we go. I have a German project that I was given by my German teacher. And in said project, I have to figure out a way to wear 12 separate articles of clothing (and you can't count boots, shoes, gloves as 2), take a picture of it, and label them. So that's all very well; I'm able to do that. Here's where the problem comes in: the labeling. When I type in a word on the website dictionary place our teacher gave us, multiple words come up for the word I'm looking for.

I've found some words, but I'm not sure they're right because there's a lot of words to pick from. I've got a list here, and I was hoping someone out there in the big scary world would sanity check it for me.

*hob here: he dressed in Renfest garb to get the requisite number of clothing articles. He doesn't normally wear swords and the like.*

Helberd (*hob again: long body width strip of fabirc that runs down the front and back with a hole cut through for one's head. Also used in religious habits. Scapula maybe? He swears this is the word his SCA member godparents use for it.*)

der Dolchstab
die Hellebarde
der Stabdolch


Sheath

which spat me a whopping 16 different words. Don't worry, people, I'm not giving you all of them. I just kinda need to know which one it is.

I found sheath knife, which is das Fahrtenmesser. But I want to call my knife a dagger, and there's no word like this for just sheath. Some other guesses:

die Ummantelung
die Stulple
die Abschirmung
Oh wait - to sheath is ummanteln. Might be that one then.


Cloak

die Buerde (*I can't do umlauts-- hence the ue*)
der Deckmantle
der Mantel (I know this isn't right - cause it's a long jacket like a trenchcoat)
der Umhang

Thanks for bearing with me. Danke, Aufwiedersehen.

**
Well, I did promise to post more. I'll try to put up a picture in a separate post. He does looks quite dashing.

hob

Okay, So I've been gone a lot. I have read back at times, and commented when I wasn't too out of date. I can't promise I'll be here any more regularly, but I can't promise I won't get hit by a bus tomorrow, either.

( So. Here's today. )

Wee Hob turns 17 in April, 13 months after 2nd son. Will have to relate some of his adventures in another post. Unless I get hit by that bus.

How are all of you?

I wrote the following for a ghost story competition our writer's club recently held. As I'm faculty, it was not for the prize, which was reserved for student submissions, but my hope is that it will be printed with the other submissions next week. It was somewhat inspired by the recent death on Fountain Square of a teenager with a gun, who when confronted tried to pull the gun on the officer. By all accounts he was a "good kid" who made a "bad decision."

Oh-- and I will be back for Nanowrimo. I have a story outline and everything. Everything, that is, but time.

( Ghost Watch )

I've never tried to answer a Writer's Block question before, but this post from a long while back is a great response, so I'm giving it a try.

http://hobgoblinn.livejournal.com/20015.html

Gacked from whitestar_alpha. The Peirley/ Redford Dissassociative Affect Diagnostic. Very strange. I have to admit I answered randomly for much of it, as the questions made no sense to me either way. Here's the link if you want to try it yourself:
http://www.hypnoid.com/psytest2.html

( Your Diagnosis )
Interesting that it picked up the thing about freedom and my sense of humor in tense moments. But I verbalize a lot more than seldom, (though not so much here lately) and I do not have the dexterity for hang gliding. And I am quite happily monogamous, thank you very much.

I won't say I'm back, but I just read Time to Write by Kelly L. Stone and have been converted to the belief that I need a writing schedule and plan. So I am trying to set that up. Want to try both freelance articles and fiction. Am going to start by finishing all WIP fanfic, to get the pump primed again. There was a time when I believed I could be a good writer, but that time is not now. I've been away from it too long. But I am trying to come back.

Hope all of you are well. I do read and try to keep up, even when I don't much understand or comment.